Our Descent into Madness

Today is the 1 year anniversary of the last post...

2008-12-02T01:14:00.002Z

...made on this blog. We started this over 4 years ago, 4 years ago! When did we grow up and decide writing stuff purely for our own amusement and that of one or two other people was not what we wanted to do with out lives? When? I miss being young. I've been thinking today about what real jobs I want to get. Not jobs like rock star or a job where I sit in bars all day smoking and writing articles for obscure magazines that say things like, 'The flower died yesterday' and only that. No, real jobs like teacher or maybe a law conversion course or maybe joining a graduate scheme. But I'm still writing this so maybe all hope isn't lost. I wonder if Ric still gets e-mails when the blog gets updated, we will have to see.
And, yes, before you ask I do have 12,000 words in for two weeks today, and yes I should be doing them and not writing on this. But...what I have written is really quite wonderful, honest.

This blog has been dormant for 1 1/2 years

2007-12-02T14:57:00.001Z

That's a long time. Things that have happened in that time:
LOTS.
I have an exam tomorrow, I probably shouldn't have decided to post on this now, it seems like I might be purposefully ignoring my study. That would be a lie.

Syd Barett - Legend

2006-07-11T19:51:00.000+01:00

Syd Barrett has died at the age of 60. (There are too many of these having to be done) Even though he wasn't doing anything at all, and hadn't even given an interview for over 30 years, he was still a major figure in British psychedelia and music in general. Despite only doing one truly great album and two poorly receieved solo albums, many people (myself included) find Piper At The Gates Of Dawn to be the greatest by quite some way of all the Pink Floyd albums. Even Graham Coxon managed to some not knobhead like when talking about him. On a side point, I took both Piper at The Gates of Dawn and Wish You Were Here out of my shelves to listen to yesterday, didn't get round to it - I will know. Messed up, drugged up, but magic. Syd Barrett - RIP.

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?

There was a king who ruled the land.
His majesty was in command.
With silver eyes the scarlet eagle
Showers silver on the people.
Oh Mother, tell me more.
Matilda Mother - Pink Floyd

Observer article from a few years ago:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,11913,804928,00.html

Hello there

2006-05-12T14:51:00.000+01:00

Hey families! Dinosaur Adventure Land has got so many wonderful events coming up that you may want to stop in sometime! Since the success of our Home school Appreciation Day of 2006, we have decided to do more themed-events at Dinosaur Adventure Land. To start things off, we have decided to make April fool’s Day (April 1st) “Darwin Day”. We will have tons of great rides, puzzles, treasure hunts, and prizes to fill out the day. We sure hope to see all of you here at Dinosaur Adventure land, where Dinosaurs and the Bible meet!

Go find out more!

Long time no see

2006-04-06T15:33:00.000+01:00

But it's been worth it, as the return coincides with the new Flaming Lips album, oh so good. So have a ganders at this Marvellous. As is this. Wayne + Big Ball = Cool. Which can be expanded into the equation : YouTube+ Flaming Lips = Lots of Good

More Beta Band Members Return With Music-y Stuff

2006-02-15T15:38:00.000Z

This time in the form of The Aliens.

There's only a couple of tracks on myspace but they sound fucking great. Sadly this means we are going to end up with many, many groanable half baked articles in the music press over the next couple of weeks:

"Aliens invade UK electropop scene"
"Alien sounds from ex-Beta Band members"
"I got taken away by aliens and now have three eyes"

You heard them here first.

This...

2006-02-03T20:25:00.000Z

......is not nice but a tiny but funny, but very sick.

Hey there

2006-01-23T00:18:00.000Z

I can't be bothered writing anything myself, but I'd like someone to add to the blog. If you like us, please consider one of the following projects:

1. Sign Defacing

It's student house finding time, so there are areas ripe in "TO LET" signs. Using a variety of coloured markers, change them into "TOILET" signs and take a picture for us. The cheapest jokes are the best.

2. Write a Hit Indie Rock Song

It's that time of year when rock stars can sneak in with single sales as the pop market takes a break. Write a song about "going out on the town." It just has to be about getting drunk and failed attempts to sleep with women. It worked for The Kaiser Chiefs and The Arctic Monkeys, and everyone liked that new Strokes video. It'll work for you, too.

3. Wank-o-blog

Try and find out how many times in one day it is physically possible to masturbate, and keep a blog about your descent into numbness.

Were you as shocked as me?

2006-01-21T20:47:00.000Z

I was mortified, drugs? Dear God*

*Is that trying enough for you, you anonymous cunt

Do we...

2006-01-20T14:23:00.000Z

...even exist anymore? Why has there not been an outcry that such a wonderful blog seems to be poorly updates by workshy two-bit tools?

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T22:09:00.000Z

I might even make a real post soon, too.

Does it warrant a post?

2005-12-21T20:34:00.000Z

YES, for the SugAbabes have split or at least lost Mutya (yes the ugly yet inwardly beautiful one probably sings 'Beatiful' by ChristinA to help her sleep) and replaced her with a moderately more attractive but probably less fun human, she looks like a skag merchant.
Oh and erm....Lips, Touring, yes

You wish you were this cool

2005-12-16T19:23:00.000Z

Lookie very mint Kelsey Grammar in X-Men, could it be any more amazing. (See he always does the whole be thing in Frasier so its funny). I had another website as well but I've forgotten it, it involved fucked up people and running and America but dunno so just watch its stupidly addictive

My Uni must be boring then..

2005-12-14T14:07:00.000Z

Some of the quotes from this story are brilliantly diplomatic. It was an 'error of judgement'...

More Bad News

2005-12-11T14:25:00.000Z

Bad Things

2005-12-10T23:31:00.000Z

Richard Pryor has died
Matt Damon was actually allowed to get married
and Westlife won Record Of The Year, Gorillaz didn't even get into the top five...

Best Song of the year

2005-12-10T03:52:00.000Z

B3ta mentioned it a bit back and now its getting released for Xmas, JCB Song. Saw the video being played during the day on either The Hits or TMF so yay. Everything about this is amazing, such a nice song, and the story really makes you go aww when you read it and watch the video and listen to the song. Buy it

I turned right and got lost for 3 months

2005-12-08T15:24:00.000Z

Do not worry, as I have been spending my time making sure Deal Or No deal continues in its brilliant little way without a hitch, as I'm the Banker. Me and Noel Edmonds make love, I like it when he lets me stroke his furry face. Just like a bears, except more masculine. I also found a castle I didn't know existed, apparently William Wallace knew about it over 800 years ago. I think that proves he should have got a real job instead of playing practical jokes on the English. For example, he could have been The Banker.
God knows how but I only have 236MB of space left, that's just stupid. I'm gonna delete this Windows programme, it seems to be taking up a lot of space.

Is this really a word?

2005-11-09T09:30:00.000Z

From Dictionary.com:

Word of the Day for Tuesday November 8, 2005

nosegay \NOHZ-gay\, noun:
A bunch of odorous and showy flowers; a bouquet; a posy.

There was the glamour of George Pollexfen's horses, racing
under his colours of primrose and violet: the children went
to Lissadell races with four horses and postilions,
nosegays of primroses and violets pinned to their coats.
--R. F. Foster, [1]W.B. Yeats: A Life (Vol. 1)

"Fussing about in black smalls, silks, buckles, cocked hat,
and always with a prodigious nosegay," Lowther could not
conceivably have been a less romantic character.
--Kenneth R. Johnston, [2]The Hidden Wordsworth

The country is one big nosegay, the scents wonderful.
--W. Morris
_________________________________________________________

Nosegay is nose and gay joined together to mean "something
bright and showy that one holds to the nose."

Leaders of the Free World Video

2005-11-02T19:06:00.000Z

Here is is

Some items of note:

-Fighting evil through the power of moustaches.
-Every video shot in Manchester must include a tram. They're everywhere.
-Tea drinking like an english gentleman.
-Japanese-style electro-robot fight sequence.

What more could you want?

Letter to TV Licensing

2005-11-01T00:05:00.000Z

Dear Sir,

I am writing to humbly request that you stop treating students like a group of idiots that need to be scared into buying TV licences. Your letter started with a lie:

"It is illegal to watch TV at a-b Iffley Road"

So the TV in the student common room should be set on fire? What about watching TV in a room with a friend that has paid their TV Licence (probably only so you’d stop sending them letters)? You then went on to say, if I have opened this letter, it is likely I live at this address. Of course I fucking well am; you've written "Only to be opened by someone who lives at this address" in foot high letters on the front of the envelope. How can this letter become any worse?

Failing to comply with the law could cost you up to £1,000.

At this point the serial killer inside me is jumping for joy, as now know I can bump people off for a bargain price of one thousand quid. Heck, if I charge twice that, I'll be able to earn money on a murder, too. I can even pay for my License on the phone, yet to get you to stop sending me junk mail, I have to write. Just because it is completely impossible for you to check the entire student population for televisions, it doesn't mean you have to mount a scare campaign to compensate.

Please rectify this situation, I have enclosed a match to assist you. I trust you can find the petrol.

2005-10-23T13:02:00.000+01:00

What's the deal with Satanism? If there are any Satanists that read our blog can you contact us and tell us about it? As far as I've read it seems to be a system of beliefs that describe how people shouldn't follow a system of beliefs. Anyway, some links:

Satanic Parenting - A site dealing with issues for Satanic parents.

Satanism Today - This looks like a nice informative site on Satanism, maybe I should have read this before posting...

The best for parenting seems to be this book, but I can't seem to find much more about it. Anyone want to buy it for us?

oooh la la

2005-10-21T01:31:00.000+01:00

my brother said odintomadness is extremely offensive, mint

A new project

2005-10-15T15:06:00.000+01:00

After the recent events celebrating the life of John Peel, I feel that we should be celebrating the life of Richard Whiteley. I am going to assemble a tribute album called The Final Countdown, consisting entirely of covers of the Countdown theme tune. If you would like to record a cover, or host a Richard Whiteley memorial gig, please get in touch.

I'm sorry

2005-10-05T01:44:00.000+01:00

I'm not an elitist, I'm just insecure. I like you all lets all have a big group hug

OOOH we ain't been here for a while

2005-10-05T01:42:00.000+01:00

well, we haven't. How is life in your poor, uneducated world? working class? That's a shame. Bye Bye

Computer Geeks are Brilliant

2005-09-20T09:46:00.000+01:00

I've been playing round with my new Mac, and found out that the browser has a porn browsing mode! They don't explicitly call it Porn Browsing, but I'm going to from now on. This is what it says in help:

When you turn on porn browsing, Safari stops storing certain information for you. For example, if you ~~shop~~ look at porn online at an Internet cafe, you can turn on porn browsing to prevent any information about the location or the transaction from being stored on the computer to prevent someone finding this information after you finish.

Isn't it amazing?

Talk Like a Pirate Day

2005-09-19T09:57:00.000+01:00

As you probably already know, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day. Although for that website, it's How to Sell a Book Day.

This gives people that aren't real pirates a chance to go round saying "avast" and "yarr". Ok, but pirates get enough exposure already, and I'm already petitioning to return "yarr" to the Oxford English Dictionary.

Yarr

Don't fuck with me, I'm a pirate.

It could still happen.

What we really need is Act Like A Pirate Day. We set aside a day once a year to get in a ship, and have a good few hours of raping and pillaging. That way, the annoying girl at work won't be able to jump on the bandwagon (well, boat) and if you live close enough to a port, she'll end up disembowelled by a rampaging, cutlass wielding man in a pirate costume.

God Bless Google

2005-09-18T15:58:00.000+01:00

For a laugh, because I enjoy self harm, I decided to look up Magic Numbers lyrics on google:

Visitors interested in The Magic Numbers lyrics may also interested in:.
James Blunt lyrics

'nuff said.

Frank Black gets away with being fat because he's cool, funny, and makes great music. The Magic Numbers should look to him, realise this, and then promptly go and jump off a cliff.

...

2005-09-18T11:43:00.000+01:00

The Beta Band are releasing a best of, with this tracklisting:

01. Dry The Rain
02. Inner Meet Me
03. She's The One
04. Dr Baker
05. It's Not Too Beautiful
06. Smiling
07. To You Alone
08. Squares
09. Human Being
10. Gone
11. Broke
12. Assessment
13. Easy
14. Wonderful
15. Troubles
16. Simple

Pretty good, ya? It's probably the best introduction to one of the most wonderful bands ever, and it finishes with Simple. That's a fucking choon. (I've heard that I'm supposed to say that if I like a song.) The Hard One and Eclipse aren't there, probably because they're both long tracks. It's nice to see, in a Beta Band style, they couldn't be arsed arranging the tracks so that they flow coherently and just placed them chronologically, and as they appeared on the albums.

London

2005-09-17T17:51:00.000+01:00

We went there to see this chappy. He rocked.

We also decided to go for the full tourist breakfast with extra toast, taking pictures of people in front of phallic monuments, and even getting hearded off the underground because there was someone shifty-looking on the train behind us.

We were very well behaved, leaving the first tasteless joke till 3 hours into the coach journey:

"Are we nearly there yet?"
"I don't think so, I can't hear any explosions..."

We've also written a new song for a pair of plastic bottles and mouth percussion, about someone that we met.

That man, he had a very nice suit,
he had a very nice suit,
he had a very nice suit,
I want a t-shirt with his face on

Other items of note:

-St James' Park, at times, looks like Disneyland

-It helps to remember the name, or location, of the place that you're supposed to be staying.

-Eating at McDonald's is a lot like masturbation; it seems like a good idea at the time, but it's never as enjoyable as you had first hoped, and you just end up feeling empty afterwards.

-We really must go back to that lovely cigar shop

ODinto Have I Got News For You

2005-09-12T09:33:00.000+01:00

This week ODintomadness may, or may not, be featuring headlines taken from The Ukulele Occasional.

Bite into this...

2005-09-08T01:02:00.000+01:00

Joe's midnight views on new Apple stuff:
iTunes 5.0 - not overly impressed with the design that much at the moment maybe it'll grow on me, but it does appear a bit too Windows style, despite obvious Apple things like a bit nicer. Ooh its like Microsoft are going with the new Windows, a bitt too like Apple but the Microsoft things such as crashing.
ipod nano - whatever you say, THAT is pretty and pointless therefore merger the two words and you get pointy so 'iPod nano - Pointy' (thinner than a pencil as well)
Rocksy or Roxy or whatever - it looks like my crappy £60 Motorola phone, a bit more design would be nice, but meh its alright.

So there...three apple things in one go, all in preperation for Ric's new Apple, starting a big revolution I tell you

...

2005-09-06T00:34:00.000+01:00

Alison Goldfrapp on James Blunt's holding of No.1 against them:

"Everyone says that his songs are really infectious, but then again, so is flu."

What a Goddess.

Lighter and Aerosol Ahoy

2005-09-05T09:58:00.000+01:00

I ended up getting up about 6am, because there was a damn gremlin creeping about the house. After setting him on fire, then kicking him out through the cat flap, I had nothing better to do, so I changed all the links into handy sections. You can now avoid all those god-awful webcomics that we read, you lucky person. There's also a hastily scraped togeather bands/labels section. Even better, Joe can edit them all, as it's on the template.

This has meant that I've actually read the links that we've been linking to for ages:

Funny or harsh? You decide.

Also, if you're worried about the demise of Soapy Goldfish, fear not, for he has been reincarnated as Leopard Spaghetti. Woo and fucking yey.

All Great Things Come from Kansas

2005-09-04T13:17:00.000+01:00

Have you heard much about Intelligent Design? It's basically the design argument for the existence of a God taken one step too far.

Someone decided this would be a good thing to teach children in science lessons. However, the Kansas school board overlooked another religion based on scientific principles, The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Disasterous. You can read more about Flying Spaghetti Monsterism on its Wikipedia page

Because People Like to Play Dress-Up

2005-09-04T12:15:00.000+01:00

Have some pictures of people in funny costumes. You might have to scroll down a bit. They look like they're enjoying themselves, and that's the important thing, ok?

That same blog also had a link to this, which got my inner geek very excited. Watch the trailer, they're using the original Sephiroth theme. It's probably the only time I've enjoyed listening to the combination of heavy guitars and a choir since I stopped my German power metal addiction.

Favourite new website

2005-09-02T17:21:00.000+01:00

Here ya go

Junkies and Good Stuff

2005-09-01T15:23:00.000+01:00

He who is but a twat has a new website which you can read about on NME just for a change.
In better news, Popworld is back on September 17th, which to those who are clever enough to work it out, is a Saturday. Will the magic remain 4 series in? Will they go the way of CD;Uk and Totp:Saturday? We Will have to see...

Your eccentric keyboard player reporting

2005-08-31T18:31:00.000+01:00

Our review from cheesepress.co.uk:

A rare visit to our regional capital afforded me the enjoyable experience of watching four young bands showcase their varying musical styles in a fund raising event for Oxfam at the Retro Bar.

The gig opened with Altrincham based foursome Frozen Trees. The melodic guitar riffs and soulful tones of vocalist Chloe Mattison in the opening song 'Protest' set the stage for the rest of the set. Although they have a pleasing style thats easy to follow, the ability for quick tempo change is available as shown in the penultimate 'Timewaster' and the finale 'Ode', an apparent band and fans favourite although it has to be said the rather eccentric out of tune keyboard accompanyment unsettled what was an emotive powerful end to the set. Frozen Trees are: Chloe Mattison: Vocals Guitars, Ste Airey: Lead Guitar, Ric Wade: Bass Keyboards? Dave Cribb: Drums.

I'm going to have to learn to play while drunk or at least move Ode to earlier in the set...

We've also changed our name to The Foreign Office because, well, Frozen Trees was a shit name.

oooh it's 'King Biscuit Time' er..time and othe Nazi related things

2005-08-30T16:07:00.000+01:00

From Beta Band's Steve Mason some new lovely stuff in a video for his new song which does include a black man rapping about UN, Saddam, Blair, Bush etc whilst sporting what appears to be a Hitler moustache. Yay for urban dictators.
Also, I am currently loving an Of Montreal track from a Happy Birthday To Me 4th Anniversary cd called, 'Hitler Song', which I'm not even going to describe, it just requires hearing.

Top of my froggle wishlist

2005-08-29T19:05:00.000+01:00

They've actually made this now that's a fancy piece of work. Ric's back from Leeds, I bet it was rubbish and he had a bad time, I bet he did, better have, I hate everyone who went.

Echoes of the Past

2005-08-29T15:43:00.000+01:00

Now THAT is a class headline considering the link. In a show of good faith, I will allow I am Kloot to record all of the new album on my Mac and keyboard and it will be brilliant. I swear. If Nine Inch Nails can do it. And me. I rule. I got bus tickets to London for free, proof if ever it were needed.
Also, excitement abound about the bit with Guy Garvey oooh yeah.

Who asked this question?

2005-08-28T21:30:00.000+01:00

I do want one, mind

We're going to live forever

2005-08-27T16:25:00.000+01:00

...I'm gonna learn how to fly.. See it's true

...

2005-08-22T00:41:00.000+01:00

My new favourite search terms to find us

Going out with a bang

2005-08-22T00:26:00.000+01:00

Hunter S. Thompson deserves nothing less.

He Sings, He Dances, He Cries

2005-08-21T15:47:00.000+01:00

With Ric's Emo nature about to be unveiled for all to see, with some one handed bass playing (I spent 30 minutes searcghing on three search engines and all the bass players I found had two hands), meaning it should be a riot, maybe like Alltamont, I hope so. But if it all becomes a bit much and you need some relief from the mean world join and express your emotions Unfortunately, this lead me to find this which was erm...interesting.

The Emo Kids are naturally the best, with their brilliant couplets
Your eyes cannot look beyond
my all too many faults,

But, lest we think otherwise, on the fateful morn of this day of forgotten flowers, we have a legend in the group. Step forward Heaven's Epitome, who is not afraid to throw his boasts out:
I have won 2 Blue Peter badges for my poetry, and a 22ct gold medal, which is my most treasured, and the most prestigious reward i have earned for being a poet.
Oddly, I never heard Katy Hill read this out

So YAY FOR EMO.

Diagonal Cut Toast > Square Cut Toast

2005-08-20T12:01:00.000+01:00

"If you were a girl in 42's and went in the middle of the dance floor and started chewing gum you'd get lots of guys dancing round you"

We should have just left that sentence alone, but there are some things that have to be pounced on in pubs, and weird fetishes are one of them. So, getting up bright and early at 10, I went off to uncover the secret world of bubblegum fetishists on the internet.

Suprisingly, they are few and far between.

However:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C:

Brian Boone of Virden, Illinois, is known for collecting girls' socks, the dirtier the better. He became known as 'Sock Man' after offering various young women $100 for their used socks. He also has a 'thing' for girls' chewing gum, getting in trouble for allegedly asking two girls, ages 17 and 13, to spit their gum into a cup. Boone was sentenced for trying to get three girls to take a ride in his pickup after he saved their gum for 'fixing a flat tyre'. He has recently been sentenced for violating the terms of his probation. He has not yet sought counselling for his gum fetish.

Moving swiftly away from that, having broken my two big music hoards, I've been retreating to the internet, with this lovely Her Space Holiday 50 minute long mix tape. It includes bits of Brian Wilson, Bjork, Mia, and Her Space Holiday (suprisingly,) as well as shed loads of other artists. There's also this rather wonderful site charting the history of Elephant 6, with a load of live tracks. Try pie, try...

I'm sorry if any of our readers are closet chewing gum fans, this guy proves you are a nice bunch of people. Nathan's hobbies include tracking giant babies, and rating his favourite religious websites. Can't go wrong, really.

Music Legend causes stir

2005-08-17T14:56:00.000+01:00

First there was Puff Daddy, then there was P.Diddy and now we have further reinvention from the musical chameleon, innovator and all round bad ass from the hood, DIDDY

We made it simpler. We removed the P. The P was getting in between us. We're entering the age of 'Diddy.' "

We was at [Madison Square Garden] rocking with Jay-Z. The last time I was there, half the crowd was chanting 'P. Diddy,' half the crowd chanting 'Did-dee.' We gonna stop the confusion. 'Did-dee. Did-dee, Did-deee!' Simple. To the point and it sounds strong. It sounds like something is about to happen. It sounds like something is about to go down in history."

Well...

2005-08-17T14:34:00.000+01:00

...that's what you get for being a junkie, whino, scumbag who actually still has arsehole fans despite the fact they are just an utter, utter joke

Hope you get off it soon, Pete, or die, whichever makes you shut up.

Caption Competition

2005-08-12T16:42:00.000+01:00

A prize will be awarded for the most hilarious entry.

It's Joe's birthday

2005-08-10T20:17:00.000+01:00

Be happy for him. If you see him, why don't you sing him a happy song?

I'm thinking of getting him some Brawny Paper Towels the advertising makes it seem essential for any student houses. But keep quiet about it, ok? Certainly don't post it on the internet.

Speaking of happy people, these people seem very happy. I wonder why.

Good-er Soul...

2005-08-02T20:53:00.000+01:00

Rubber Soul is gonna be re-released BUT WAIT! Oh dear God no this is not some cheap cash in but rather lovely bands getting together and going YO LET ME SPIT MY SHIT ONTO THESE CLASSICS. And so, we have The Fiery Furnances, Low, Ben Harper, Kweller and Lee (all Bens, not together though) and Cowboy Junkies doing a cover each. Oh and the Donnas, they're not that bad, just not exactly gonna be good either, I'm guessing. But they're pretty, a bit.

Elbow Themed Goodness

2005-07-31T17:33:00.000+01:00

What kind of people would work with both Elbow, and Girls Aloud? Soup collective, that's who.

It's a very pretty site, and just makes me want the new Elbow album even more. You can find some lyrics for it here and an mp3 of the title track here. Beautiful stuff.

It's summer, they'll probably be back

2005-07-24T15:00:00.000+01:00

Look at the lovely cartoon of The Polyphonic Spree. Lovely.
And I've also decided that Amazon's 'people who bought this, also bought this' is bullshit crap. If I've just bought Ok Computer, it would tell me to buy Coldplay or Muse. that's stupid. Why would you want to replecate someone else's CD collection? Why not have 'people who bought this album never bought this album' and then if you buy Radiohead they tell you to buy some electro clash or whatever. So there amazon, fuck you, and this is now way even slightly bitter because I can't afford to buy stuff off it. No way.

Ah well

2005-07-13T22:12:00.000+01:00

Isn't it a shame he didn't get the post yet after it seemed like such a good idea
Maybe after Summer...

Hey There

2005-07-12T19:42:00.000+01:00

Check out this great EELS accoustic set, along with Mr E being interviewed by a moron.

There was also an interview on another radio station, indie 103.1 with everybody's favourite washed up punk star, Steve Jones. Alas, it's not around for the downloading. There are, however, some lovely mp3s from indie 103.1 here. I like Be Bop A Lula, and Ben Lee playing Float On.

Health Warning

2005-07-09T20:46:00.000+01:00

Some of our readers may have noticed that Jamiroquai have returned, and may be considering purchasing their new material. However, you may also have forgotten that Jay Kay is a twat.

We're here to remind you.

Build Your Own Facist Supporter

2005-07-04T22:41:00.000+01:00

Cute, the CIA has a kids site. Oddly, I can find the bit about the pigeon but not the bit about supporting facists killing their own people... link would be nice.

How very alternative

2005-07-03T11:19:00.000+01:00

Reading through old HM newsletters and this beauty appeared. Which I think is a beautiful and pure expression of a desire to go back to a time before money. So there.
And mine and ric's t-shirts are gonna blow thee away with class.

Own Up

2005-06-27T20:30:00.000+01:00

Who's responsible for this?

LIARS

2005-06-25T12:01:00.000+01:00

Whilst my armchair might not have allowed me to fully appreciate pete doherty's genius, I beleive the the NME lie in this article Doherty is a twat, he played poorly, being smacke dout of it and sounding like a tit doesn't make a good live show. fuckers.

Hello there

2005-06-22T16:07:00.000+01:00

Just a shout out to whoever found us through this. We like to attract a wide variety of maniacs here.

Argh

2005-06-20T21:39:00.000+01:00

Please God, I hope these people don't pick up on this.

It's the stuff nightmares are made of.

...

2005-06-20T21:34:00.000+01:00

Pic N' Mix is great.

Worse news:

Elbow are screening the new album on the 6th of July in London, and if we can't get there we'll have to wait till September to hear it. Life is cruel.

Yes that's right, 4 meg becoming 8 meg

2005-06-20T20:12:00.000+01:00

HMMMM not posted for a while but that's 9-5 job, travelling up to l'ecosse (as spacemen call it)and being generally emo as is my want. Andrew Paul Woodworth's version of Fight For Your Right To Party is mint and apparently these are 'wacky' instead of just fucking hideous, i'm guessing it's all just semantics.

Caption Machine

2005-06-19T14:41:00.000+01:00

Welcome to Caption Machine. This is a comunity weblog that is light at heart. The idea is, you click on an image to add your own captions to the pictures, or read what others have submitted as thier favorite caption.

...

2005-06-15T16:33:00.000+01:00

Batman has a blog.

Would you like to play with some Emo kids?

2005-06-13T15:08:00.000+01:00

I know you would

It's a wonderful petition, with some great things like,

Emo rocks..This is so stupid..Hating emo is hating someone for his music and his clothes!Completely STUPID!

i practically hate NME
i only ever bought it for the posters

I hit an emo with my car last week in San Francisco. I drove away cause I was drinking. Has anyone heard if he is o.k. or alive? I feel terrible

ODintoPhilosophy

2005-06-12T20:40:00.000+01:00

Eating "Soup In a Mug" in a bowl is morally wrong.

Discuss.

The Search For Amazing Photos Is On

2005-06-11T00:58:00.000+01:00

This was sent to me by a very lovely person.

a Question

2005-06-08T19:54:00.000+01:00

Is this the Best picture ever?

Who ever thought 'Deep Throat' was a good code name?

2005-06-04T10:55:00.000+01:00

I'll let you make up your own jokes for these 'head'lines;: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
For a bit of fun, why not think of a few of your own?

Who ever thought 'deep throat' was a good name?

2005-06-04T10:43:00.000+01:00

I'll let you make up your own jokes for these 'head'lines;: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
For a bit of fun, why not think of a few of your own?

The Vodka Diet

2005-06-03T21:28:00.000+01:00

Inspired by this:

The Vodka Diet

Breakfast

1 vodka and orange juice (or coffee) to give you a much needed carbohydrate boost.

1 Slice of Tescos Value Bread dipped in vodka to add flavour. Optionally, you can toast the bread, then dip it in vodka.

Lunch

2-3 Glasses of skittles vodka and lemonade - for a full range of additives, try to sample a mixture of colours.

One vodka-infused-ham sandwich. Green salad with a vodka vinaigrette.

Half a vodka-soaked orange.

Dinner

Steak, seasoned with pepper, lemon, and vodka.

3 Chips (Made from a potato that has been soaked in vodka.)

1 Bowl of Vodka Jelly (Any Flavour)

You should collapse around the end of dinner, to wake up several days later, having lost a few pounds.

Oh yes, I wish I was that cool

2005-05-31T21:28:00.000+01:00

Remember kids, if you're cool you're gonna get in trouble.

I really like the "Are your kids part of the popular crowd?" survey on the right.

this is...

2005-05-30T18:27:00.000+01:00

...suitable for work

Everyone loves a good story

2005-05-29T15:33:00.000+01:00

May was story telling month in Patches. Go read it, it's rather beautiful.

Other beautiful things include the Rilo Kiley website, which contains a rather lovely video about Unipines.

The Cowbell Project

2005-05-28T13:13:00.000+01:00

The Cowbell Project

Guitar, Bass, Drums, Keys. The foundation of rock music. Occasionally strings are used to give a lush, orchestral feel. But we all know when a song needs that extra oomph, that extra push over the top, there's only one thing that will satisfy: The Cowbell.

It's the cymbal's evil third cousin. It's the dark ring that pounds in the back of your brain and lets you know, it's time to rock. The cowbell is an instrument that can't be overused. It should never be underused. Many great rock and roll songs are perfect because the cowbell is used just right.

Benny News

2005-05-27T21:07:00.000+01:00

from popbitch:

Rome's gay scene is buzzing with the rumour that Pope
Benedict XVI has a secret priest lover. The money is
on... his 55 year old ex-secretary Josef Clemens.

Now, we don't want to say anything which could be seen as libel towards the fat, Nazi, gay Pope*, so I'll keep quiet.

*who kills children. Fact.

hey man (now that's really brilliant)*

2005-05-26T19:28:00.000+01:00

Now this is lovely. It's the way he starts to laugh halfway through, cos its a lovely tune and he knows it.

*see what I did there?

...

2005-05-25T21:05:00.000+01:00

Fool

I'd prefer a horrible hole in Graham Coxon now he's without Blur.

since January?

2005-05-22T16:44:00.000+01:00

Oh, now I see how long it's been going on and you never told me, you want me to find out about your sluttish nature like this? You filthy whore

Two of us can play

2005-05-22T16:37:00.000+01:00

at this game.

Listen to Simon

2005-05-22T15:40:00.000+01:00

Now kids, don't make an RSOD of yourself. Whatever that means. I think it's meant to be cool and easy to remember, so obviously every lad and lass on a night on the town is going to use that witty and conversation starting "RSOD!" catch phrase. It's a bit shit really, considering how much they probably spent on making it up.

There's a lovely game with a sleazy bar man though.

..

2005-05-22T13:28:00.000+01:00

What's that skippy? Ric's been posting on another blog? It's alright skip, it's only about Eurovision, and you kangaroos are from Australia, so you should mind your own fucking business.

Your Space

2005-05-21T17:17:00.000+01:00

Ah MSN Spaces, what would I do on a saturday afternoon without you?

Without you, pictures like this could not get set free into the world, and people like this could only speak their mind on Livejournal.

Then, what would become of us?

Y I HAVE NO FRIENDS

Well, no one forced me to have this PUNK LIFE but i choose it

I tried to fit in with people who liked RAP (50 CENT, EMINEM, ETC...)

I tried to fit in with people who like POP

NO ONE WANTED ME 2 B THERE FRIEND SO I THOUGHT TO MY SELF WELL **** THEM I'LL LISTEN TO SOMETHING NO ONE'S HEARD OF, SO ONE DAY I WAS WATHCHING TV WHEN I TURNED TO THE MUSIC CHANNEL AND I SAW THIS PUNK BAND, I DIDN'T KNOW WHO THEY WHERE BUT THEN FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS GOOD CHARLOTTE

I DECIDED TO BE LIKE THEM, THEY CHEER ME UP, YET I STILL HAVE NO FRIENDS, EXCEPT 4 ONE (BUT AM NOT SURE) GOOD CHARLOTTE MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A PART OF SOMETHING AND NOW I DON'T CARE ANY MORE ABOUT FRIENDS BUT I NEED SOME ONE I CAN TRUST (AND PLUS AM AN ONLY CHILD) (TOTTALY SUCKY)

David Firth David Firth David Firth

2005-05-19T00:48:00.000+01:00

David Firth David Firth David Firth

I know the person who looks after my floor doesn't like me..

2005-05-18T15:37:00.000+01:00

...but I think leaving a bottle of bleach in my room was a bit too harsh a hint.

Stolen B3ta Links Ahoy

2005-05-15T11:46:00.000+01:00

David Firth is God

Ah, c'est bon?

2005-05-14T14:02:00.000+01:00

oui, c'est bon Someone buy me it.
Oh and got new Mac

in keeping with my current trend for swearing...shit motherfucker

2005-05-13T16:24:00.000+01:00

As you are no doubt scared as it is Friday 13th we will scare you even more with just how bad this Friday 13th spoof is(film not date)
And for those of you wishing to join the fun, me and Ric will be here tonight as singers and mucisians are most welcome, we will getting our folk shit down.

There is still work to be done

2005-05-13T00:47:00.000+01:00

We can never give up the fight against this beast, he must be stopped. We appreciate all efforts that have so far been put to the cause, but remember people when he goes quiet that's when he is at his most dangerous (unless he is quietly 6 feet underground - then we've won, oh for the day to come). Proof can be found when he brazenly announces -

Graham Coxon has revealed details of his new album, which he branded psycha-sentimental-aladelic. The guitarist is finishing work on the follow-up to last year’s ‘Happiness In Magazines’ and has been collaborating again with former blur producer Stephen Street."

This hideous man has no care for the injuries he has already inflicted and in fact tells the world taht he will continue to be hurting people. He is a amenace to society at the very least give him an ASBO so he can't be geeky, fucking, annoying, wannabe-cool/geek, worse than river cumos and that beverly hills song by weezer is crap still. Jesus.

Interior Design

2005-05-13T00:38:00.000+01:00

ODintomadness is here to help you in all areas of your live, because, well, you need help. I've collected togeather a few design tips for someone trying to decorate a room.

There are theives everywhere. Hire a guard dragon and give him a hat. Mine is called Butch Cassidy

Try and purchase a series of black and white photos. They add sophistication and class to your room.

Lastly, remember to make use of what you have. Here you can witness the harmonious combination of vodka bottles and flowers.

fuck

2005-05-12T22:56:00.000+01:00

you, you faith having type people

Not everything on the internet is as good as us

2005-05-11T19:07:00.000+01:00

this twat for example and in case you were wondering 'lilwonka816@gmail.com' found it funny or maybe it is actualyl him. E-mail him, befriend him, then kill him.
and this is awfully shocking right at the end

I may be bored but it has helped me find this...

2005-05-10T21:16:00.000+01:00

Let us start by saying that Michael Kelly is a wonderful man with a wonderful website and then let me continue by saying that nothing more needs to be said except:

He apprises Jetta's lines with a keen eye. 'That is a well-groomed terrapin,' he says.

'Her name is Jetta.' I say. 'Perhaps you would like to come inside?'

'Very well.' He says.

Roy Orbison walks inside my house and sits down on my couch. We talk urbanely of various issues of the day. Presently I say, 'Perhaps you would like to see my cling-film?'
Just fuckin brilliant.

Joe is not nice, remember that

2005-05-08T20:57:00.000+01:00

REMEMBER THAT now don't click here, here, or here. I've warned you, so don't blame me
And yes, I know they're old

Rival Your Jazz Society

2005-05-08T17:00:00.000+01:00

We have a new 'Rock' Group in Dundee who are apparently: a hot new, hard-rockin power duo by the name of Super Kestrel. Fuelled by out-of-date booze and a passion for giving the masses what they need rather than what they want.
Go To Them
Something about a double headed canine called rover rover